In the first part of this series, Alicia described the drought facing her rural community and started explaining her personal journey of reframing to move from a mindset of drought to one of abundance.
In the second part of this series, Alicia shared how prayer and scripture study has helped as she has worked to get her mind and heart to recognize the abundance of blessings she has.
In this final installment, we continue with Alicia as she identifies the power of self talk and moving to a positive focus.
As part of my reframing exercise, I brainstormed some of my current, anxiety-causing self talk, and attempted to change it to something better.
Here are some ways I am changing my thought processes to move from anxiety about money towards peace.
I have been writing down some of the harmful things that I have been telling myself, and then shifting them to something more optimistic and truthful.
Current Self-Talk (Things I tell myself and say to my kids at the store that I’d like to change.)
- We can’t afford that.
- We don’t have enough room in our house for that. (We recently downsized homes.)
- I didn’t earn that.
- You already have too many.
- I don’t deserve that.
- I deserve that.
- If only I could afford ____, then I would be happy.
- There isn’t enough money for groceries. We won’t earn more in time.
- If I had those clothes, my body would be beautiful.
- If I buy this makeup or skin care line, my face will be beautiful.
- If I buy this product, I would exercise more and be healthier.
- I need to buy this book to be smarter.
- My self-worth comes from how much stuff I have, money I earn, vacations I take, etc.
- I have an idea for a new product, but people won’t buy it.
- If I put this online, people will say, “Who does she think she is?” or “She’s not good enough.”
- It’s too vulnerable to put myself out there.
- In my business, I need everything to be perfect before I launch that product.
- If I had lots of money, I would be greedy and selfish.
- If I’m not perfect, people won’t like me. What other people think is more important than my happiness.
Reframed (True) Self-Talk (Things I want to tell myself in my head and to tell my kids.)
- I add things to my life which “Spark joy (1).” These things are easy to find and afford.
- I have exactly enough space in my home for things to bless my life. When I have too many things, I become a servant to my stuff.
- I am good at making intuitive decisions about what to keep and what to give in gratitude.
- We have enough ____ (toys, treats, etc.) (2). This is for me to say when my kids “Get the gimmies” (3) at the store.
- I give myself permission to add things that spark joy to my life in a balanced way.
- God wants to bless me. I am his daughter. He wants to bless me even more than I want to bless my own children (which is a lot). Sometimes my blessings are things.
- I am valuable because of my divine nature and my individuality.
- My imperfections are valuable.
- My joy comes from fostering relationships, having spontaneous fun, making music, being seen for who I really am, taking care of my body, giving myself space to make mistakes and grow, being generous, growing plants, raising children, and being creative.
- There is enough money and food to meet my needs and for me to give generously.
- I can learn, work out, try new things, etc., with or without spending money.
- I have inspiration and good intuition for creating and selling new products.
- People will buy my products when I am authentic and genuine.
- I am valuable. I am as valuable as others. All parts of me are valuable. My services and products are valuable. I am being paid in the energy of money for the value that I give. I am excited to be making good money. Money is an appropriate form of energy to receive. I am knowing what is appropriate to charge for my goods and services (4).
There are many things that I have in abundance, which I am grateful for.
I made a list. I suggest that you make one too. I am finding that often, the key to erasing scarcity from my heart is gratitude.
- Love. I give and receive Love every day. It never runs out. The more I give, the more there is. I have love for God, love to and from my husband, love for my kids, love for my mom and dad, love for my sisters, love for Stan’s mom and dad, and love for the youth in my youth ministry assignment.
- Friends. I’ve been really blessed with good friends throughout my life. Marianne, Jen, Josh, Amanda, Mara, Bergen, Rachel, and hundreds more. They now span the globe. Some are lifelong friends. Others were there for a season. All touched me in meaningful ways.
- Flowers in my garden. They grow in spite of me, and make great use of any water they receive.
- Books to read. (There are 618 to read on my GoodReads account). I love the library and find joy in a good book.
- Books I have read. Their characters and stories become part of me. I have a goal to read 1,000 books.
- Second chances with God. Those never run out either.
- Ideas. I really value ideas. Some of my ideas happen in real life. Others are valuable to me because they are new and creative and out of the box, and because they are mine.
- Learning. I am a lifelong learner and see my children growing into that too.
- Social media post ideas. These help me keep my businesses going.
- Chickens. We have an abundance of chickens. More than 30.
- Tithing. My church asks a 10% tithe. I have an abundance of money to pay tithing to God. The cool thing is that he always pays me back with more abundance.
- Yoga. After teaching yoga weekly for 5 years, I can do yoga and think yoga thoughts any time I want to. That’s amazing.
- Music. I can play my guitar and sing (not well) as often as I prioritize it.
This year, our family will probably lose many colonies of bees. This has happened before too many times to count. But we can work hard to build them up again.
For now, my husband and I will use our hard work and creativity to provide for our family. I already have ideas for making and selling honeybee by-products. We have plentiful resources, and God is on our side. I often receive flashes of inspiration with creative solutions to problems. We have evidence that our faith in God is not in vain because, though sometimes finances have been extremely tight, there always has been enough.
Carolina Allen from Big Ocean Women said, “The internal power of abundance has the power to transform! . . . A common element of the women who have been drawn to this organization and movement is their ability to foster hope and optimism as a first response to any life challenge.” I hope that my personal reframing will help me move forward to meet the challenge of drought with courage, creativity, and optimism.
What things do you have in abundance in your life?
Do you have any other reframed self-talk ideas about money? Or about scarcity?
- Marie Kondo, The LIfe Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
- Brene Brown. Daring Greatly. She says that the opposite of scarcity is “enough.” That is beautiful to me.
- Stan Berenstein. Berenstein Bears Get the Gimmies. This is a children’s picture book. It talks about the Bear Family cubs begging for everything they see in the store, and then having tantrums when Mama and Papa say no.
- Carol Tuttle. Dressing Your Truth. (These money mantras are from one of her YouTube videos about money. Her work has strong influence in my heart.)
Written by Alicia Moulton